“Love is a many-splendored thing, love.” And it is. Though, it is also a very painful thing. My theory is this, love is as great as the risk involved. And oftentimes, that risk becomes a nightmarish reality. I believe that with each and every relationship, whether socially simple or invigoratingly intimate, there is, respectively, a certain amount of risk. It’s as if we begin each association by handing the other an emotional knife, capable of cutting us to the core. The only safety then, is distance.
Most people are well aware of these inherent dangers whether consciously or not. And it is for this very reason that one might shun any and all intimacy or even mild friendships. They’ve allowed some to get close in the past, and are still reeling from the pain. Sure, they may heal eventually, but as the cliché goes, “the scars remain”.
Having had cancer in my spine, I have two enormous scars on my midsection. One wraps from my frontal center to my center back. The other runs the length of my spine. Both of the surgeon’s incisions healed over two decades ago, yet when I stretch in certain ways, the scars feel as if they’re tearing. I immediately recoil, fearing the scars may reopen. The possibility seems absurd, but the reaction is involuntary – a knee-jerk.
Many feel the same way emotionally. Their unseen scars run the deepest of all and when flexed a certain way, whether by love or simply friendship, they relive the former pain and recoil, fearing the scars may reopen. The possibility seems absurd, but the reaction is involuntary.
Today, on Valentine’s Day, I want to encourage those with scars to try once more. The irony is that love is the very thing that heals a broken heart. Yes, it is painful, but it is also a many-splendored thing.